It’s getting bad again. I’m listening to The Shins and all I can think of is you. You’re all I have ever wanted and now you’ve been replaced by a glass of scotch and a devil on my shoulder… And he’s starting to get the best of me…


Well, after a month of not being together again, I’ve moved to Salt Lake City. I love it here, I can finally do all of the outdoor activities I’ve always wanted to be doing. Plus I have a job already which is something Milwaukee couldn’t give me for the last 4 months I was there. But I still miss HER! I just know that she’s exactly what I want and as much as I’ve met some really cool people out here, I know that her “type” just doesn’t exist in another woman. I feel like to be with someone else would just be wrong. Will this ever go away? Will I ever have these feelings for someone else? I really can’t imagine it… I’m losing my mind…


How can I be soo in love with someone who’s broken my heart twice? Why don’t I hate her? She’s tearing my life apart and all I want to do is be with her, and hold her… We always fit so perfectly together…


Well it’s a good thing I didn’t get rid of this page. I’m back to square one. Yet again, this girl that I’ve loved for 6 years, is gone. My love for her grows stronger every day yet hers weakens…

I don’t know what to do anymore…

Feeling like my life is over…


Well, I think it’s time to end this blog. I want to thank all of my followers for the likes and reblogs. My ex and I started talking about a week and a half ago, just to see how each other has been since we haven’t talked in almost 6 months. We decided to meet up just for coffee and to catch up on Wednesday. It couldn’t have went any better and we decided to go on a date. Fast forward to today. I’ve been with her every day since, and last night, we kissed. Nothing has ever felt more natural in my life. This morning she texted me saying she wished we could just cuddle and kiss all morning, but she’s at work now. I almost can’t believe this is really happening. I’ve wanted it for soo long and I still never could have imagined it going this well. In a matter of weeks, I’ve gone from being the most depressed, longing person ever, to the happiest man in the world!!!


"I don’t know, I just feel like I should just stop thinking about it, you know, but I can’t. Maybe I’ve seen too many movies, you know, love at first sight."

- Blue Valentine


Do you ever feel like your love for someone is so great that your life is going to explode?  That is how I feel tonight….


For the past few nights, I’ve felt very strange.  It’s almost as though I’m looking through someone else’s eyes.  I’m removed from all the emotions that he currently is feeling, yet I am flooded with everything he’s felt in the past five years.  He has started seeing someone new and I am still feeling all of the love he had for “her”.  He is showing her all of the greatest places in the city to find beauty and happiness while I’m remembering all of the reasons “we” made them beautiful together.  What this amazing new person doesn’t know, is that he is a hollow shell.  He is what is left of a man who used to be strong and passionate.  A man who knew his reason for living and knew he would never be alone.

I am that passion.  I am that strength trying to fight it’s way out, but the scar that was left has become the thickest of barriers.


(Source: dearpurvasfuture)


want to make sure that the first person you kiss loves you. Okay?”

I cried for the rest of the movie….

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